restaurant

Kevin Mazur/Getty Images

There is no place for ridiculously large bags in high society. As shown in the hit series “Succession,” the super-rich lead different lives than many of us. This also includes other behaviors that might lead those uninitiated into the ways of the rich to make an embarrassing faux pas (such as, as lampooned in the television series, bringing a very large handbag to an intimate cocktail party). But sometimes the rich and the not-so-rich need to come together. This is increasingly prompting companies to teach their employees how to smoothly interact with VIP customers at official events. According to Jamila Musayeva, an etiquette coach, the key is to avoid standing out as the nouveau riche or as someone's chaperone at fancy dinners or galas.

Musayeva is often hired as a trainer for black or white tie events as well as general business etiquette training. She says the best sign that your manners are okay is if your behavior doesn't stand out. “If you can't tell what you were doing at the table, then you've mastered everything,” she told Business Insider. We've all hopefully learned basic table manners over the years. But the wealthy take etiquette to another level at their lavish gala dinners and social events. Here are Musayeva's tips for etiquette at exclusive events attended by the rich.

DON'T: Discuss your limitations or preferences at the table.

This isn't your average restaurant, so you don't have to point out any allergies to your waiters while you're seated. Musayeva told Business Insider that it is common for gala dinners to include an option when confirming an invitation to indicate any restrictions. This way, everyone can avoid an awkward conversation about nutrition at the table. Special needs should be taken into account at such luxurious events.

DO: Practices the continental food culture of high society.

She said that the continental style of eating is considered a common ground for people from different nations. This means holding the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right hand, without moving them back and forth as is the case when eating American-style. “Americans typically use their knives and forks in a zigzag pattern,” Musayeva said, but that is considered informal.

DON'T: Take a sip of your drink before you finish chewing.

It's very simple: take small bites of your food and finish chewing it before drinking your drink.

DO: Leave your big handbag in the cloakroom.

There is no room for your bulky shoulder bag at the table of valued guests. It's best to leave them in the cloakroom. If you need your things, Musayeva recommends a smaller handbag. This should fit in your lap when it's time for dinner. “I recommend always taking a clutch or a small black bag that you can place on your lap and cover with a napkin,” says Musayeva.

DON'T: Present your VIP guest someone before.

When it comes to first impressions, you should always ensure that VIP status is discreetly acknowledged. Therefore you should never someone introduce yourself – everyone should already know who they are, so this is unnecessary. Instead, Musayeva says, they should be introduced to people. “They say this formula: 'May I introduce someone to you,'” and then the name, Musayeva explained.

DO: Let the VIP guest decide when to shake hands.

Maybe you want to make a guest of honor feel welcome by shaking your hand in greeting. But that's not the right way to shake hands. “The most important person has to give a less important person permission to shake their hand,” she says.

DON'T: Order your own drink at the table.

At formal dinners, the drink combinations are usually coordinated with the items on the menu. It may seem rude if you refuse the wine or other drink your host or chef has chosen, Musayeva says. It's better to trust your judgment. Cocktail hour is the best time to order whatever drink you're craving, but that stops once you sit down to eat.

DO: Whatever it takes to adapt.

Adapting to high society is key. This means adapting to the etiquette of your host or the most important person at the table – even if it differs from the guidelines Musayeva teaches her clients. It's best to be observant and observe how everyone else behaves to understand how to behave appropriately. “At the end of the day, all people are equal,” says Musayeva, and if you feel less worthy than others, your body language will let others know.

Read too

Faster advancement, more salary: These four “future skills” make the difference